A passenger on a United Airlines flight from Houston to Boston died inflight. To which the other passengers were saying “Some people have all the luck.”
A passenger on a United Airlines flight from Houston to
Boston died inflight. The worst part was when flight attendants rifled through
his wallet to take enough money to cover the airlines’ body bag fee.
A study says the perfect women’s body for women is athletic,
while men prefer curvy. In other words, women like a healthy look, and men are
still all about boobs.
Authorities swarmed a JetBlue plane at JFK after there was a
false alarm about a hijacking. Apparently suspicions were raised when the plane
tried to take off after waiting on the tarmac less than three hours.
A survey says 42% of Americans think a civil war is likely
in the next five years. The country is the most divided since the disagreement
over “Less filling-Tastes great!”
The House is considering an amnesty bill that would cover
2.2 Million. Although instead of immigrants, the amnesty would be from
prosecution for everyone in the Trump Administration.
A shortage of industrial CO2 in England means the
possibility of running out of the gas that puts the fizz into soft drinks and
beer. Which is bad news for pub goers who will miss the three bubbles in a
tankard of warm ale.
A shortage of industrial CO2 in England means the
possibility of running out of the gas that puts the fizz into soft drinks and
beer. Which will affect people who buy sodas with no CO2 to cool them from the
global warming caused by too much CO2.
A New York man shot his wife thinking she was “possessed.”
Not only that, he was afraid he might lose her for good if she was repossessed.
A New York man shot his wife thinking she was “possessed.”
It turns out he was just too possessive.
A report says fewer Americans are spending their last days
in hospitals, instead dying at home. Mostly so they at least have a few dollars
left over to leave their kids.
A report says fewer Americans are spending their last days
in hospitals, instead dying at home. Or as those people are otherwise known as,
“the uninsured.”
A report says fewer Americans are spending their last days
in hospitals, instead dying at home. Why pay money when you can end up with the
same results for free?
French President Macron wants to bring back national service
for teens. It would include time in the military where they would mostly learn
to march backwards.
Joe Jackson, patriarch of the musical Jackson Family has
died at age 89. Not to say he was physically abusive with his kids, but Michael
Jackson’s tribute to his dad’s parenting style was “Beat It.”
A 6 year old in Atlanta raised $13,000 for separated migrant
families with a lemonade stand. The only problem is there was only $6.50 left
over after Donald Trump’s new tariff on citrus fruits.
Police in Delaware found a mobile home left in the middle of
a road. Which apparently is why they are called “mobile.”
Police in Delaware found a mobile home left in the middle of
a road. Which is not unusual considering all the people just doing what they
can to get out of Delaware.
Former Fox News executive Bill Shine is set to take on a
senior communications role in the White House. In other words, he is accepting
a lateral promotion.
A man found dead in a beer cooler inside Atlanta’s baseball
stadium has been identified. Before they knew who it was, everyone just called
him “Bud.”
A man was found dead this week in a beer cooler inside
Atlanta’s baseball stadium. The body will reportedly be sent to Denver to be
buried at Coors Field.
European Council President Donald Tusk says the EU must
“prepare for the worst” with Donald Trump’s policies. To which most Americans
are saying “We’re way ahead of you.”
European Council President Donald Tusk says the EU must
“prepare for the worst” with Donald Trump’s policies. To which those
disagreeing are saying Tusk is just living in an ivory tower.
Ford says new technology could prevent “phantom” traffic
jams. Mostly the technology of the robots who will take all the human jobs so
they don’t have to ever drive to work.
A Japanese lawmaker was slammed for calling childless
couples “selfish.” Just because they get some peace and quiet, disposable
income, no college tuition bills…
Oklahoma voters have approved the medical use of pot. Mostly
because they know legalizing marijuana is the only way they will ever have a
chance at keeping the Oklahoma City Thunder NBA team in town.
A survey says battleground state voters prefer Congress as a
check on Donald Trump. Mostly to make up for them being the ones who elected
Trump President.
48 political candidates in Mexico have been killed ahead of
Sunday’s election. So Mexico’s elections feature dead people running for
office, as opposed to Chicago’s where the dead people are the ones doing all
the voting.
A report says the top ten types of trash washing up on
beaches are all plastic. Which means manufacturers need to make plastics
heavier so they can sink like the other garbage that stays out of the sight of beachgoers.
A “Hello Kitty” themed bullet train will debut in Japan this
week. Which is great news for any 7 year old girls who are busy putting
together their travel itinerary.
A “Hello Kitty” themed bullet train will debut in Japan this
week. Which is perfect for 10 year old boys who can use the train’s speed to
capture every single Pokemon Go character in just one trip.
A survey says half the nation’s LGBTQ have not come “out” to
coworkers. The other half don’t need to as they are either hairstylists,
waitpersons or flight attendants.
The feds will investigate recent fires in Hyundais and Kias.
Mostly at the request of Tesla who says the other companies are stealing their
technology.
Harley-Davidson is considering moving most of its production
to Europe because of recent tariffs. Trying to prevent Hogs from being made
outside the U.S. is the one time Congress is in favor of cutting back on pork.
CVS will soon deliver prescriptions to customers’ homes.
That way, people can get their drugs without ever moving from in front of their
computer screen, which is why they probably need their prescription medications
in the first place.
Israeli airline El Al says it will remove passengers who
refuse to sit next to women. Which is the opposite problem in the U.S. with
drunk male passengers requesting they be seated next to women they can spend
the entire flight hitting on.
A survey says most millionaires don’t plan to spend their
tax cut savings. Mostly because millionaires don’t pay any income tax in the
first place.
A study says being fit in middle age may prevent depression
and heart problems. Especially when the heart problems come from being
depressed about not being fit.
New Hampshire has been ranked best for children’s well
being. Mostly because it promotes education and good health as the best way to
get out of New Hampshire.
The Detroit Tigers have fired pitching coach Chris Bozio for
making insensitive remarks to a team employee. Which is otherwise known as
being a being a coach.
The Detroit Tigers have fired pitching coach Chris Bozio for
making insensitive remarks to a team employee. Who does he think he is, a fan?
The Detroit Tigers have fired pitching coach Chris Bozio for
making insensitive remarks to a team employee. Management says they will not
put up with clownish behavior like that with their new motto “There is no ‘I’
in Bozo.”
An analysis says the Cowboys have the most loyal fans in the
NFL, ahead of both the Patriots and Eagles. Although it’s tough to beat
Cleveland still pulling in 64,000 fans a week while going 0-16.
The father of pro golfer Maverick McNealy is selling his
home in Palo Alto for $100 Million. His son is the golfer who shows up with the
golf cart driven by a chauffeur.
The father of pro golfer Maverick McNealy is selling his
home in Palo Alto for $100 Million. Apparently paying for all those golf
lessons for his son left them with only enough money to live in one of the
poorer neighborhoods in Silicon Valley.
The father of pro golfer Maverick McNealy is selling his
home in Palo Alto for $100 Million. Mostly so he can have enough money for his
other sons who picked the sports of yachting, polo and helicopter skiing.
Puerto Rico is introducing a bill seeking statehood by 2021.
Which is being endorsed by Mississippi and Alabama who are saying “We’ll no
longer be last in everything!”
Mike Pence is pledging support to Venezuelans until
democracy returns. To which most Americans are saying “What about us?”
28 year old Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, who won an upset
primary victory in a New York congressional race is seeking “generational
change.” Which in Congress between a 28 year old and most incumbents covers
three or four generations.
A majority of Americans think the Supreme Court nomination
process is too partisan. What’s even worse is that the polling showed them in a
5-4 split.
A report says sparklers are the leading cause of
fireworks-related injuries. Especially when someone throws a lit sparkler into
a box of Roman candles.
Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy announced his
retirement. Donald Trump is already looking at candidates he wants to wear the
robe. This time just without the hood.
Researchers say the Atlantic Ocean is growing faster than
anyone thought. Which is good news as it will make for even more room for us to
throw our plastic trash.
Researchers say the Atlantic Ocean is growing faster than
anyone thought. And you thought Carnival cruise ships had trouble with getting
lost before.
A study says employees in digital workplaces are more productive,
positive and fulfilled in their jobs. Mostly because those are the only
businesses still making a profit and paying more than minimum wage.
A new robot nags workers to keep good posture at their
desks. Because who doesn’t want the feeling that they are bringing their mom to
the office every day?
Apple and Samsung have ended their patent fight after seven
years. Mostly because every tech patent they were fighting over became obsolete
five years ago.
Ticketmaster admits personal data of customers was stolen in a security breach. The only information hackers got was the customers are willing to pay overinflated prices for bad seats.
Ticketmaster admits personal data of customers was stolen in a security breach. The only information hackers got was the customers are willing to pay overinflated prices for bad seats.
That’s it for now, Oh Faithful Readers! We are almost done
with the first half of 2018. And surprisingly to most people, we are still
here. How did that happen? Well, we still have another six months to go and
anything can happen. Although if the Dodgers win the World Series, I would be
OK with that as a good note to go out on. In the meantime, it is never a bad
thing to end the day with all of you always remembering to keep on sending the
love!
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