Tuesday, October 18, 2016

Greetings, Oh Faithful Readers! From the most prolific joke writer on the planet...!



Luke Perry posed for the latest cover of AARP Magazine after recently turning 50. Which is hard to believe as he was busy portraying an 18 year old high school student just 15 years ago.

A poll says 40% of Americans say there is tension between them and their families and friends over the upcoming election. Which is still better than the 96% of Americans who only have that kind of tension when it comes to Thanksgiving, Christmas and Mother’s Day.

53 bags of cocaine were found inside a passenger who passed out at an airport in Miami. It turns out he was trying to sell the cocaine so he would have enough cash to be able to pay for some of the inflight airline fees.

Target has stopped selling some clown masks because of hysteria over creepy clown sightings. Although people who still want to wear a clown mask for Halloween can still just go with the still available Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump costumes.

Scientists say large solar storms could wipe out the power grid, bringing an end to civilization “as we know it.” To which parents of teenagers who they haven’t communicated with for years because their noses are constantly stuck to a phone screen are saying “Promise?”

Porn stars in L.A. have taken to the streets to protest a proposed law mandating condom use. When protesters take to the streets over condoms, that is where the rubber really meets the road.

It has rained in Los Angeles for the first time in 165 days. So now when the locals talk about the drought, they are talking about the Dodgers trying to win the World Series for the first time since 1988.

A judge in Arkansas is being accused of exchanging nude photos and sex to toss cases. Of course, since it was in Arkansas all those trials were in family court.

Peru is investigating the deaths of 10,000 Titicaca water frogs. “Titicaca” being what most people say when they find 10,000 dead frogs.

The leader of the UKIP party has resigned, saying the UK party is in a death spiral. To which most people are saying that hasn’t stopped the Democrats or Republicans so far.

That’s it for now, Oh Faithful Readers! Only had time to scratch out a few jokes tonight as I am still out of town. But this is still more jokes than you will find on most other sites, so consider that a bonus when I get back up to full speed. I am really out of touch since I am on vacation and not watching much TV. In fact, only one Trump v. Hillary joke today. That just won’t do. Don’t worry, I’ll be cranking them out again later this week. In the meantime, feel free to take the opportunity to use the extra time reading fewer jokes to make sure and keep on sending the love!

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