Sunday, June 26, 2016

Greetings, Oh Faithful Readers!

A report says chimpanzees have learned how to use their own tools to get alcohol out of fermenting palm trees in West Africa. Which means they have finally caught up to human evolution to the point where we were able to invent the bottle opener.

Rolls Royce has revealed a remote controlled “roboship” that can be operated through a distant holographic control room. Which means Carnival Cruise Lines can now save money by eliminating all their captains and having just one person responsible for running all their ships aground.

A large turnout was reported at a free gun class for members of the LGBT community. The instructional class showed them everything about firing a gun except how to shoot straight.

A report says the FBI’s secret surveillance technology budget is in the “hundreds of millions” of dollars. Which is a lot of money to give a group that still can’t figure out how to get few text messages out of an iPhone.

A survey says that home ownership in the U.S. is at a 48 year low. Apparently the last time there were fewer people buying homes was in 1968 when all the hippies were still living in communes.

The FAA has approved “drone journalism,” using the flying devices to cover news events. Which is not to be confused with the drone journalism most people associate with trying to listen to the nightly news on the BBC.

Donald Trump is trying to play down the fears of financial fallout from the UK vote to leave the European Union. Mostly because no matter how bad it gets, it will be nothing like the economic meltdown that will happen if Trump is elected President.

United Airlines is using thinner airplane seats along with exclusive lounges to try to generate another $3 Billion a year in revenue. The lounge idea came about as a way to help passengers socialize and exchange stories about where they would have been four hours ago if their flight had taken off on time.

United Airlines is using thinner airplane seats along with exclusive lounges to try to generate another $3 Billion a year in revenue. The problem with the thinner seats is coming up with the answer to where they are going to find any thinner passengers.

A report says many members of the gay community are skipping the San Francisco Gay Pride parade because it has become too corporate, non-gay and white. Who thought that San Francisco would ever be considered too straight?

Microsoft is drawing flak from pushing its Windows 10 operating system on PC users. Especially the ones who have finally figured how to get their computers to work on Windows 95, XP and Vista.

A report says lithium will be the next element shaping the future of transportation. And that doesn’t even include the prescriptions for lithium needed for anyone who ever books a flight on United Airlines.

Bookmakers in the UK took in $200 Million in bets over the Brexit vote, even more than what was wagered over the Royal babies and major sporting events. Which is nice to see people actually showing more interest in the economic future of the country instead of whether the next powerless ruler is going to be a boy or a girl.

The CDC says the Flint, Michigan lead crisis was “entirely preventable.” All the people there needed to do was be like everyone in Beverly Hills and use only premium imported bottle water for everything.

A new treatment reportedly shows promise for treating arthritis of the knee with stem cells taken from the patient’s body fat. Although if the patients weren’t always carrying around so much extra body fat their knees wouldn’t be so worn out in the first place.

More than 30 people were treated for burns after walking over hot coals at a Tony Robbins motivational seminar. Although that was nowhere near the amount of people who were burned there when they actually bought a ticket to the event.

A report says there is a growing market for gadgets that tell how well a person slept overnight. Or people could save money and do it the old fashioned way by telling how well they slept by whether or not they are still tired.

The movie “The Purge: Election Year” is set for release July 1st. The only problem is convincing moviegoers it isn’t about people’s reaction after they finished watching all of the presidential debates.

Jon Gosselin says his relationship with Kate Gosselin and their children is “bad right now.” In other words, it is a rerun of Season 7 of their show but he is hoping to get it back to like the reruns of the happier times of Season 3.

Calvin Harris claims that Taylor Swift “controlled” the media coverage of their breakup. The only question is was their relationship a romance or a business deal?

Calvin Harris claims that Taylor Swift “controlled” the media coverage of their breakup. Especially the part where he found out they were through because it was the subject of all the songs on her latest album.

Calvin Harris claims that Taylor Swift “controlled” the media coverage of their breakup. Which isn’t completely true. In fact, after they broke up millions of people went to the Internet on their own to look up “who is Calvin Harris?”

A tryout session for the first Detroit Lion cheer squad in 40 years brought out hundreds of hopefuls. Which was good news for Lions fans who feel the effort by the team might mean for the first time in 40 years they are about to have something to cheer about.

A tryout session for the first Detroit Lion cheer squad in 40 years brought out hundreds of hopefuls. The winners were the ones who were most convincing in yelling out the team’s traditional cheerleading chant of “Nice try!”

Tennis fans are wondering how Wimbledon will be affected by Britain leaving the European Union. Apparently not much as until Andy Murray, the “British Exit” at Wimbledon referred to what happened to all the UK entrants after the first round.

Royals pitcher Edison Volquez was rung up for 12 runs on 8 hits and 3 walks in just one inning against the Astros last week. Or as the Braves’ pitching staff would call that, a “quality start.”

A startup company is measuring the effects of political candidates on people’s brains and nervous systems. The only problem is taking the supporters of either Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton and finding any measurable brain activity in the first place.

John Kerry gave a talk at Stanford where he wants tech to help solve the world’s problems. Which ironically, the world’s number one problem is people being unable to tear themselves away from their gadgets for more than a few seconds at a time.

John Kerry gave a talk at Stanford where he said he wants tech to help solve the world’s problems. It’s just too bad that someone doesn’t put Kerry in the position that used to be responsible for solving those problems, the Secretary of State.

A leading exoplanet hunter was honored for his work on looking for life on other planets. Mostly because the way things are going with the world’s political climate, economy and global warming there won’t be any left here in another 50 years.

A report says 2016 is on track to be the hottest year on record. Of course, that is taking into consideration the meltdown that will happen in November if Donald Trump is elected President.

A $1,000 3D body scanner measures people’s body fat to tell if their diet and workouts are making a difference. As opposed to the old fashioned, cheaper way of telling how a diet is working by standing on the bathroom scale.

A company in India is selling smartphones for $4. Which means they are taking all the components of an iPhone and putting them together in exactly the same way, but not charging the other $696 for having the Apple logo on it.

A database with 154 Million U.S. voter records was reportedly left wide open. The biggest concern is that the voters could be blackmailed by having it revealed that they actually support either Hillary Clinton or Donald Trump.

A report says after the vote to leave the European Union, millions of Brits were googling to find out what the EU is. That’s like if the U.S. elected Donald Trump President and afterwards people were looking up the definition of “egomaniacal, narcissistic, delusional sociopath.”

Conservative commentator George Will says he is leaving the Republican Party because of Donald Trump. Which is a dangerous career move because that is his most obvious qualification to still working for Fox News.

Donald Trump back off his call for no Muslims to be allowed into the U.S., saying that Muslims from Scotland were OK. Mostly because if nothing else they are the only ones in the entire country who don’t drink alcohol.

Donald Trump back off his call for no Muslims to be allowed into the U.S., saying that Muslims from Scotland were OK. Mostly because Americans are much more concerned with the possibility of the U.S. being entered by any Scottish soccer hooligans.

Donald Trump claims Texas won’t secede from the U. S. because he says “Texas loves me.” If for no other reason than because his hair, fake tan and official color of the University of Texas are all the same burnt orange.

Marco Rubio says he is not running for the Senate because he wants to make another run at President in 2020. Mostly because who wouldn’t like working somewhere that pays $174,000 while letting employees go around the country openly looking for another job?

Marco Rubio says he is not running for the Senate because he wants to make another run at President in 2020. The real reason is because of Congress’ economic policies there just aren’t any other decent job openings anywhere else.

Donald Trump says “a lot of people” are asking to be his vice presidential running mate. Mostly because they know if he gets elected it will be only a few months before he is impeached and removed from office and they will become President.

That’s it for now, Oh Faithful Readers! It has been a few rough days around here. I have been putting in monster hours at the station and am exhausted. But I am still way better off than the thousands of people who have been displaced or lost everything they own in the West Virginia floods. 26 people so far are reported dead from the heavy rainfall we saw last Thursday. Houses were completely washed away by the heavy downpours that brought nearly a foot of rainfall to the region. The Greenbrier Open golf tournament was even canceled as the course was entirely underwater. If you would like to help out in the cleanup, just check my station’s website at wchstv.com and there will be links to where you can send donations to the cause. I would appreciate any help any of you could give to the people of West Virginia who have enough adversity on a daily basis who now have to deal with yet another disaster. It would be the best way possible for any of you to really send the love!


2 comments:

Catherine Bostic said...

There aren't any obvious links on wchstv.com for monetary donations for the many WV Flood victims. However, here are some other links that will accept donations:

Kanawha-Charleston Humane Association is overwhelmed taking pets while families clean up and trying to reunite pets with families. They are also going out into the community delivering food for animals.

From this website, scroll down and click Donate Today: https://www.adoptcharleston.com/

WVU has Dollars For Disasters with several links available:

http://service.wvu.edu/dollarsfordisaster


WV Bankers Association has also put out a number of various links for ways to help:

http://www.wvbankers.org/news/flood-relief-assistance

Thanks to everyone who helps!

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