Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Greetings, Oh Faithful Readers!


A poll says that Anthony Weiner’s unpopularity ratings have reached 80%.The other 20% still like the fact that his name is Anthony Weiner.

A poll says that two thirds of New Yorkers think the campaigns of Anthony Weiner and Eliot Spitzer are embarrassing to the city. And this is the same city where no one even blinked when Donald Trump ran his presidential campaign from.

Research shows that people don’t read but only skim newspaper stories. Mostly while they are using it to wrap up litter from the cat box to throw in the trash.

A study says that children’s poor motor and social skills are linked to watching too much TV. Especially when the shows are watching include “Honey Boo Boo”, “Teen Mom” and “Jersey Shore”.

A study says that childhood stomach aches may lead to anxiety and depression as an adult. Especially when they find out how much they will be spending on medical bills and prescriptions for their stomach aches.

Officials have reportedly changed the locks on the office of embattled Mayor Bob Filner. Although people were hoping they would change the locks while he was inside to keep him from getting back out.

A study says that near death experiences are accompanied by a surge of brain activity which could account for reports of a flash of bright light. It’s either that or the cabin lights coming on after their flight on United finally touches down on the runway.

83 year old mobster James “Whitey” Bulger has been found guilty of racketeering and murder. His only defense was that he is too old to survive prison. Proof of his age is that he is one of the last people who still has the nickname “Whitey”.

A human rights group is calling for a boycott of an Italian wine named after Hitler. But then, how many people really think they are going to impress a date or friends by bringing out a bottle of Hitler?

A human rights group is calling for a boycott of an Italian wine named after Hitler. The way you can tell it is a bottle of Hitler is when all the French wines in your cellar immediately surrender.

Prince Charles is being accused of meddling in politics because of recent meetings with several Cabinet ministers. Apparently he finally just got bored of puttering around in the garden.

Mexico has proposed opening their oil industry to foreign countries. Apparently officials feel now that George W. Bush is out of office they can make the offer without it being seen as an invitation to invade.

San Diego Mayor Bob Filner is facing a recall because of charges of sexual harassment. Ironically the idea for a recall came after all the women started to recall what he did to them.

Honda is making an effort to save drive-in movie theaters. Apparently Americans have traded in taking their cars to the drive-in movie to instead spend all their time in the drive-thru line at McDonald’s.

Honda is making an effort to save drive-in movie theaters. Although drive-in theaters were built for American cars with trunks big enough to sneak in all your friends and a back seat with enough room to have sex.

Attorney General Eric Holder wants to cut federal sentences for non-violent drug offenders. Apparently he feels it is one way to help get the population of Detroit back up to where it used to be.

Crash tests show that dog restraints in cars usually fail. Especially when they forget to buckle themselves in so they can send out some text messages.

Crash tests show that dog restraints in cars usually fail. Which doesn’t make the dogs who are picked for the crash tests all that happy.

AOL Chief Tim Armstrong fired the company’s creative director during a conference call. Even Donald Trump said “Dude, when I do it it is only a TV show.”

AOL Chief Tim Armstrong fired the company’s creative director during a conference call. That was a tough job to keep. How can anyone be creative enough to come up with ideas on how to convince anyone to use AOL?

Asiana Airlines is denying responsibility for their crash in San Francisco saying the passengers contributed to their own injuries and offered them $10,000. Even Bernard Madoff is telling them to get a new PR representative.

Asiana Airlines is denying responsibility for their crash in San Francisco saying the passengers contributed to their own injuries and offered them $10,000. Apparently they feel it was the passengers’ fault for not putting out the money to fly on a better airline.

Asiana Airlines is denying responsibility for their crash in San Francisco saying the passengers contributed to their own injuries and offered them $10,000. Apparently they feel if the passengers had brought their own parachutes none of this would have happened.

Researchers at Carnegie Mellon University say Twitter can be used to beat the spread on sports betting. Or you can just put your money on whomever is playing against Carnegie Mellon.

A study says that children spending time with their grandparents lowers the risk of depression for both. And it really is good for the parents who can use the opportunity to not have to listen to their kids’ whining or the grandparents’ complaining.

A study says that depression is over diagnosed by doctors. Especially right before they give their patients their medical bills.

Amanda Bynes has been diagnosed with PTSD. Mostly for the trauma she caused herself by imploding her career with her behavior.

Darius Rucker from Hootie and the Blowfish has had a street named after him in South Carolina. Apparently it is the street where the tent city he lives in is located.

Darius Rucker from Hootie and the Blowfish has had a street named after him in South Carolina. Although everyone still thinks his name is “Hootie”.

Ashton Kutcher says he was hospitalized during the shooting of the Steve Jobs movie he starred in. Mostly from the stress of having to memorize a script that was more complex than “Dude Where’s My Car?”

George Lucas had a baby girl through gestational surrogate at age 69. He’ll be 87 when she graduates high school. Which gives all “Star Wars” fans hope that they, too will possibly have sex by the time they reach that age.

Kevin Federline has married his long time girlfriend. “Long time” for Federline usually means sticking around for the nine months it takes to have a child with him.

Kris Jenner has slammed President Obama for remarks he made about Kim Kardashian and Kanye West. Many people were upset with the President for his comments. Mostly because no one wants a Chief Executive who even knows who those two are.

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West have reportedly turned down a $3 Million offer for the first photos of their baby. Now everyone is just waiting for the baby’s first dirty diapers to show up on eBay.

Pete Rose says if he had used drugs instead of gambled, he would be back in baseball and that he just picked the “wrong vice”. Although neither one would have been as poor a choice as the person he picked to cut his hair.

LeBron James says he won’t run for president of the National Basketball Players Association. When you are the king why would you want to fight for equality for the peasants?

Turkish scientists have created glow in the dark bunnies. Which is why the U.S. never mentions Turkey as one of the nations we are worried about developing nuclear weapons.

The NSA says it only reads .00004% of the world’s Internet traffic. Which means they are only looking at anything online that doesn’t contain porn.

Facebook is getting into the business of letting people book restaurant reservations through their site. That way people can not only make their dinner plans through Facebook but can post annoying photos of the food they are eating while they are there.

Tesla CEO Elon Musk says a half hour San Francisco to L.A. Hyperloop high speed train will be possible within 7-10 years. The only problem will be with the four hours it will take to get in and out of the train stations in both cities.

Bitcoin is under scrutiny from New York financial regulators. Apparently they are worried about a monetary system that is not real and can fluctuate wildly with market conditions. In other words, they are pretty much just copying the dollar.

Bitcoin is under scrutiny from New York financial regulators. How bad is it when the most stable currency in the city is still the subway token?

Facebook has bought a speech translation system. Apparently they want to be able to tell Facebook users in all languages that the stock they bought in the company is now worthless.

A U.S. district court has ruled that New York City’s “stop and frisk” policy is unconstitutional. Apparently that means that New York City police will only frisk people while they are still walking along.

California Governor Jerry Brown has signed a law allowing transgender students to choose which restroom they will use at school. Which is a tough call, since using the girls’ room means a thirty minute wait and the boys’ room means having to decontaminate yourself when you are through.

Colombia is asking Secretary of State John Kerry to explain the NSA policy on spying. You know it’s time to look at the policy when even Colombia is concerned about your civil rights record.

That’s it for now, Oh Faithful Readers! Feel free to send a comment once in awhile. You can do it on this site or send me an e-mail which I have listed on my profile. Good or bad, I like to hear from all of you. And don’t ever be afraid to send the love!

1 comment:

Catherine Bostic said...

Extra love this week, Jim...