Thursday, April 25, 2013

Greetings, Oh Faithful Readers!


NBC is planning a twelve day long 24/7 game show called “The Million Second Quiz”. It will test the contestants’ knowledge and endurance. The only bigger endurance test on NBC was seeing how long viewers could take Donald Trump on “Celebrity Apprentice”.

A poll says that Nancy Pelosi is the best known but least popular congressional leader. Which shows that the more we know our politicians, the less we like them.

A study says that depressive thinking can be contagious. Apparently the study was done at Wrigley Field.

The NYPD is going to release trace gases in the city’s subways to see how chemical weapons would disperse in the event of an attack. Or they could get the same results by just following the stench of urine.

A study says that Los Angeles has the worst traffic in the nation once again. In fact, the traffic is so bad that the same cars are still stuck in the same place on the 405 from the last time the study was done.

A study says that Los Angeles has the worst traffic in the nation once again. The average driver spent 59 hours sitting in traffic in 2012. Traffic is so bad that even Kobe Bryant passes more often than the average driver.

Economists say that the UK has avoided a triple dip recession. The only question is how can anyone tell?

A report says that the IRS has issued more than $11 Billion in improper refunds. Suspicions were raised when people were filing for refunds which means they actually would have to be claiming some sort of income.

The Kentucky Derby is banning backpacks in the wake of the Boston Marathon bombing. In a decision that could affect the race, even the horses will have to check their saddles at the gate.

Virgin Airlines will allow passengers to flirt with others by sending them drinks or texting them during the flight. If the program catches on, to avoid confusion Virgin will have to change its name.

Virgin Airlines will allow passengers to flirt with others by sending them drinks or texting them during the flight. Which is different than on Southwest Airlines where the pilots get on the intercom and ask if any passengers will send some drinks up to the cockpit.

The number of people using food banks in the UK is up 170% over the last year. It would have been even higher but apparently many of the people would rather go hungry than have to eat British food.

A study says that a shortage of STEM, or science, tech, engineering and math workers is a myth. There is no shortage of STEM workers after all, just jobs that they can do.

A study says that a shortage of STEM, or science, tech, engineering and math workers is a myth. It’s just that they have all had to take jobs at McDonald’s, Wal-Mart and Domino’s.

A group has called out Coca-Cola for lobbying to allow soft drinks to be bought with Food Stamps. It turns out the group pushing even harder for that than Coke is the dental lobby.

A report says that carbon dioxide levels are at their highest point in 5 Million years. Which means ironically the dinosaurs that were living in it the last time are in our gas tanks causing it this time.

Alexander Graham Bell’s voice has been identified on an early wax recording. Apparently he can be heard saying “Holy crap! Does my voice really sound like that?”

Employers’ health care premiums went up 170% in California in the last decade. Which is even worse considering that employees went down 170% in the same amount of time.

The FAA says that flight delays from air traffic controller furloughs weren’t as bad as they feared. Apparently the controllers on duty were able to keep traffic at a steady flow by timing their naps in between each takeoff and landing.

The FAA says that flight delays from air traffic controller furloughs weren’t as bad as they feared. Between security screenings and luggage losses, most people don’t even another three or four hours at the airport.

A report says that some newspaper stocks have gone up nearly 50% in the past year. Apparently they have been bought up by people who figure there is no way even newspapers can do as badly as their Facebook stock.

A consumer watchdog is calling payday loans a trap for consumers. The only good news is that borrowers are obligated to pay back the loans on their next payday, which in this economy could be another five years away.

A consumer watchdog is calling payday loans a trap for consumers. But then again so are mortgage loans, car loans, college tuition loans...

The new Chevy Spark electric car can reportedly go 82 miles on a single charge. As opposed to most Chrysler models which can go 82 miles. Period.

New Jersey Governor Chris Christie told a young boy he watched “Scooby Doo” when he was four, but it was discovered that Christie was already seven when the show premiered. Although Christie does have a lot in common with Scooby Doo. They are both animated, loud and will do just about anything for a Scooby Snack.

A report says the top 7% of wealthiest Americans made another $5.6 Trillion during the economic recovery. The other 93% are saying “There was an economic recovery?”

Chrysler will be keeping its “Imported from Detroit” tagline. Mostly because all their cars are shipped out of Michigan because there aren’t enough people left to buy any cars.

A report says that high school prom spending has risen to an average of $1,139. Apparently there has been a large increase in the price of alcohol and condoms.

A report says that high school prom spending has risen to an average of $1,139. But it is worth it to most kids who will cherish the lifetime of memories. Especially the one that arrives about nine months afterwards.

A study says that obesity is linked to prostate cancer. How fat are you when the doctor can’t even figure out where to insert his finger to to a prostate check in the first place?

A poll says that Americans underestimate their chances of needing long term care when they get older. Of course, with out diet and exercise habits they figure they don’t need to worry about getting much older in the first place.

A report says the five most polluted cities in the U.S. are all in California. The city with the worst air pollution is Bakersfield, because it keeps people driving through town on the I-5 Freeway from having to look at Bakersfield.

A report says the five most polluted cities in the U.S. are all in California. Los Angeles is tied for fourth. How bad is it when L.A. is the place some residents of the state come for a breath of fresh air?

A study says that making a clenched fist can help people remember things. Although that doesn’t explain why prizefighters have trouble sometimes even remembering their names.

A blood test that measures a compound found in the stomach may be able to tell if a person may suffer heart problems down the road. Especially if the substance found in their stomach is a Big Mac.

Gwyneth Paltrow has been chosen as People magazine’s Most Beautiful Woman. She was also recently chosen the Most Hated Celebrity in Hollywood. Apparently it’s pretty easy to figure out which vote was by men and which was by women.

A report says that “American Idol” is looking to get rid of Mariah Carey and Nicki Minaj as judges. If those two judges go at each other any more, they are going to wind up in front of Judge Judy.

President Obama says he told his daughters if they ever get a tattoo, he and the First Lady will get the same tattoos in the same place. Which means it’s a good thing he didn’t end up with Mike Tyson for a son.

A foot long egg laid by an extinct elephant bird has sold for $101,000. After squeezing that thing out, it’s no wonder the bird is extinct.

A foot long egg laid by an extinct elephant bird has sold for $101,000. Apparently while the bird was laying the egg, she screamed at her mate “You did this to me!”

A “human computer” from India, Shakuntala Devi who bested the machines with her ability to calculate quickly has died at age 83. Although many Indians believe in reincarnation, she will just be rebooted.

A “human computer” from India, Shakuntala Devi who bested the machines with her ability to calculate quickly has died at age 83. Apparently she would always win against any computer when it came to spelling her name correctly.

A “human computer” from India, Shakuntala Devi who bested the machines with her ability to calculate quickly has died at age 83. Of course, that was back in 1977 when it would take five minutes just to program the problem into a TRS-80.

A company is working on a remote control device that can be worn as an armband. And you thought it was tough to wrestle the TV remote away from your husband now.

That’s it for now, Oh Faithful Readers! Thanks for reading the blog. Feel free to tell your friends about it. Feel free to also enjoy that it is free. If you would like to show your appreciation, just click on the Great Strides icon on the page and donate what you can to the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation in the memory of my wife, Karen. If you send the money, I’ll send the love!

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