Greetings, Oh Faithful Readers!

Fidel Castro says the GOP presidential race is “a competition of idiocy and ignorance”. To which Cubans are asking “What’s a presidential race?”

A report says 4,000 Americans living abroad gave up their citizenship to avoid taxes. Or as Mitt Romney calls it, the white person’s version of self-deportation.

A poll says that 33% of GOP voters say it would be good if a new candidate entered the race. Or if all the ones currently in it would just leave.

A bill in New Hampshire would allow businesses to refuse service to gay couples. That isn’t likely to get a lot of support since half the business in the state is Bed & Breakfasts.

Research says that Google users turn over about $5,000 worth of personal information each year. Although most people feel it is worth it in order to find the biggest selection of individual porn sites in seconds.

Research says that Google users turn over about $5,000 worth of personal information each year. Apparently it was discovered when someone googled “Big Brother” and “Google” came up.

A bill in Florida would require sports teams to house homeless people in their stadiums. Not only would it take thousands of people off the street, it could be the only way the Marlins could ever claim a sellout.

The State of the Union address registered at an 8th grade reading level according to an analysis. The President should have remembered the speech is primarily for Congress and the media and should have dropped it down a few grade levels.

A man spent two years in solitary confinement in New Mexico after being arrested for DUI. Apparently that offsets the 18 minutes spent in jail by Lindsay Lohan in California for the same offense.

A man spent two years in solitary confinement in New Mexico after being arrested for DUI. Why did they need to send him to solitary confinement? He was already living in New Mexico.

Alaska Airlines is discontinuing prayer cards given out with meals. Instead they are going to be more practical and hand out air sickness bags.

Alaska Airlines is discontinuing prayer cards given out with meals. If any airline needs to hand out prayer cards to its passengers, it is United.

The Democrats are trying to make Mitt Romney the poster boy of the “Buffett Rule” where millionaires need to pay higher tax rates. Meanwhile Chris Christie is the frontrunner to be made the poster boy of the “Buffet Rule”.

The Lakers have passed the Knicks as the most valuable NBA franchise. Not only are both teams more valuable than the Oklahoma city franchise, they are more valuable than Oklahoma.

John Travolta’s stolen Mercedes Benz was discovered in pieces. From a high dollar, finely tuned luxury machine to a complete wreckage. But enough about Travolta’s career.

Bruce Jenner says his daughters don’t need to go to college. If their half sisters the Kardashians can become millionaires without college, there is really no need to go past the fifth grade.

Bruce Jenner says his daughters don’t need to go to college when they have reality TV. In college, you pay the school to make you smarter. In TV, you get paid to become even dumber.

President Obama is calling for all states to require students to stay in school until they are 18. To which Tennessee children protested, saying they don’t need to go all the way through the third grade.

A survey says that Americans spend $1,000 a year on coffee. Which means they stop in at Starbucks as many as five times a year.

Apple has passed ExxonMobil as the most valuable U.S. company. Which means we can all look forward to $5 a gallon gas by summer.

A Gallup poll says that Americans are divided over whether the economy is fair. If you have been following the Occupy movement, that division is about 99% to 1%.

The Indiana House has passed a Right to Work measure that would mean union workers could refuse to pay their dues. Of course, unions convince members to pay their dues by letting them keep the Right to Walk.

Jamaica has launched an emergency jobs initiative. Apparently they think they might be able to take the last few jobs still left in the U.S.

A report says that New Jersey is the least business friendly state in the U.S. That is, unless you own a bar, tanning salon or laundromat.

A study says that men are more likely to experience memory loss than women. Especially when they are being questioned about why they didn’t make it home last night.

A study says that men are more likely to experience memory loss than women. Mostly because if a man forgets one thing in his entire life, he has more memory loss than any woman.

A study says that working too much overtime can raise the chances of suffering depression. Mostly when the person is working overtime to do the work of the rest of the staff who have been laid off.

A study says the type of food consumed even weeks before surgery can affect how the body responds to recovery. Especially when the person is having surgery because of all the food they have eaten in the past several years.

Brad Pitt admits that he suffered depression at one point in his life. Most likely when he had the horrendous decision of staying with Jennifer Aniston or leaving for Angelina Jolie.

Brad Pitt admits that he suffered depression at one point in his life. All other guys who suffer from depression are sad that they will never be Brad Pitt.

The NFL says it will allow in game tweeting during the Pro Bowl. Apparently the league feels it will reach more people that way than the few who will actually try to watch the game on TV.

The NFL says it will allow in game tweeting during the Pro Bowl. Apparently it’s the only real activity the players will be doing while the game is being played.

Newt Gingrich says he wants a colony on Mars and possibly statehood. Of course, if he is going to start a colony in space, it would have to be on the “Red Planet”.

That’s it for now, Oh Faithful Readers! Enjoy this week, the slight lull in the action before Super Bowl hype is in full gear. In the meantime, while I am busy fumbling the days headlines, you can always score by sending the love!