Newt Gingrich says while in Congress he helped create 27 Million jobs. Mostly in the diamond mines for the suppliers for Tiffany.
7.5 Million people watched the most recent GOP debate. It’s pretty much become “Jersey Shore” with a pale cast.
Congress has now gone 1,000 days without passing a budget. It’s a good thing. Imagine how bad it would be if we were this far in debt on purpose.
The U.S. Ambassador to Afghanistan is condemning rumors the U.S. plans to divide the war-torn country. It was divided when we invaded. Now it’s pretty much fragmented, chopped and diced.
The U.S. Ambassador to Afghanistan is condemning rumors the U.S. plans to divide the war-torn country. It looks like we are much more concerned with making a permanent split in our own country.
Tiger Woods says he is disappointed that Hank Haney has written a book about their time together, calling it a “violation of trust”. To which Elin Nordegren says “Tell me about it.”
The oldest sitting federal judge in the country has died in Kansas at 104. At that age no wonder he was sitting.
The oldest sitting federal judge in the country has died in Kansas at 104. At the time of his death he was still presiding over two cattle rustling trials and a hearing on a stagecoach holdup.
The new federal consumer watchdog is targeting payday lenders. In this work environment every paycheck is pretty much a loan.
The CDC says the total cost of the top ten causes of death in the U.S. is $1.1 Trillion. And that’s just the bill for people who actually have health insurance.
Newt Gingrich says he will skip the next debate if the audience is not allowed to cheer. If he wanted to be at an event where there is no cheering, he would have bought tickets to the Washington Wizards.
Workplace discrimination complaints have reached an all time high. Which is interesting since the number of people who are in the workplace is at an all time low.
Dennis Allen has been hired as the new head coach of the Oakland Raiders. The first suggestion he was given by management was to look for a place to rent instead of buy.
A Massachusetts dentist has pleaded guilty to using paper clips in root canals. Apparently authorities became suspicious when they saw his dental supply company was listed as Office Depot.
A report says that grieving should be classified as a depression disorder. Which means in this economy pretty much everyone could qualify for counseling.
A report says that more than half of New Jersey high school graduates leave the state to go to college. That means they are losing as many as three students.
A report says that more than half of New Jersey high school graduates leave the state to go to college. The rest are staying in New Jersey hoping to get one of the highest paid jobs in the state. A part on “Jersey Shore”.
An Oklahoma State Senator has proposed legislation banning human fetuses from being used in food products. And you thought the FDA was a little lax in the amount of chemicals they were allowing to be used as ingredients.
An Oklahoma State Senator has proposed legislation banning human fetuses from being used in food products. Apparently he misunderstood the commercial for Chili’s Babyback Ribs.
An 85 year old Alaska woman used a shovel to beat back a moose that was stomping her husband. She immediately filed to run as Alaska’s Governor.
A proposed federal rule would limit the number of hours kids could work on farms. Unless the farms are also making athletic shoes.
In his State of the Union Speech, President Obama called for an economy “built to last”. Instead of the one we have that has fallen to last.
A trial will start in L.A. over who controls the TV rights for the Golden Globes awards. The only issue at stake is who gets stuck with Ricky Gervais?
Ford’s new slogan is “Go further”. Apparently they shortened it from the original version that ended with “drive downhill.”
A study says that restaurants that treat their workers better get more business. Especially when customers notice that saliva flavor is no longer present in all the meals.
A survey says that kids use less sunscreen in order to get a better tan as they age. And if they live in New Jersey they then go out and get drunk and start bar fights every night.
Simon Cowell says he and his fiancee are “on a break”. Apparently she figured out how to pick the lock.
The GOP’s response to the State of the Union speech is to call for a simpler tax system. And what could be simpler than letting the wealthy get away with paying no taxes?
Kansas lawmakers are considering fees for electric vehicles. Apparently they are worried they are going to put the buggywhip industry completely out of business.
Newt Gingrich praised his fellow GOP candidates for their diversity. There are white guys running with gray hair, there are white guys running with brown hair and there are white guys running with black hair.
That’s it for now, Oh Faithful Readers! Hope you like the jokes. Feel free to tell your friends about the blog, and remember to always send the love!
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