Greetings, Oh Faithful Readers!

Steven Tyler is being criticized for his rendition of the National Anthem before the AFC Championship game. Even Kyle Williams says he never saw anyone choke so badly at such a big moment.

Steven Tyler is being criticized for his rendition of the National Anthem before the AFC Championship game. It was going well until he accidentally substituted in the words from “Dude Looks Like A Lady”.

Starbucks is expanding its beer and wine sales into several states. Apparently their customers like to have something to calm them down after seeing how much they just paid for their double mocha latte.

Starbucks is expanding its beer and wine sales into several states. In this economy, it is a lot more desirable for some people to face the work day with a buzz than a rush.

A study says that kids’ brain injuries can cause problems for several years to come. Which possibly answers the question “Did Charlie Sheen get dropped on his head when he was a baby?”

Senator Rand Paul was detained at a Tennessee airport when he refused a TSA patdown. Apparently the security agents wanted him to know what it feels like Congress is doing to us.

A study says a bad friend or roommate can actually make a person ill. So apparently it’s not just all the alcohol making the cast members of “Jersey Shore” hug the toilet every episode.

Disney has given the OK for employees to wear beards and goatees as long as they look neat and professional. Apparently they decided to expand the dress code beyond being a pirate or a dwarf.

Economists are becoming more positive on their outlook for 2012. Apparently they feel if they keep being positive, they’ve got to hit it right one of these years.

Kia has recalled 146,000 cars because of airbag issues. Not that the cars are built cheaply, but it just wasn’t working to design the airbags to be manually inflated by the passengers during an accident.

49er Kyle Williams, whose two fumbled punts helped lose the NFC title game has been receiving death threats. Although only making two fumbles in one game has also gotten him a contract offer from the Bengals.

Kim Kardashian says her wedding was a bad business decision. Apparently she wishes she had registered at a more upscale store.

Kim Kardashian says her wedding was a bad business decision. Mostly because it’s going to be tough to sell damaged goods to the next buyer.

A study says that many people continue to smoke after being diagnosed with cancer.  Apparently they see no difference between that and a fat person going to eat at McDonald’s.

Some hospitals are trying to attract more affluent patients with staffs that include butlers and chefs. In the medical field, “affluent” is someone who actually has a health insurance policy.

Some hospitals are trying to attract more affluent patients with staffs that include butlers and chefs. The medical staff is also trained more to treat diseases of the wealthy like gout, ulcers and dueling wounds.

A survey says that one in four Americans now has a tablet or an e-reader. The other three are still content to just use their cell phone to annoy everyone around them.

A woman says that U.S. Airways lost her husband’s ashes on a flight. Apparently that was the second time he recently got burned.

A study says there is a 70% chance that a big earthquake will hit Tokyo in the next four years. Apparently the same study also predicts there is a 70% chance of rain in Seattle in the next four years.

A Britain became the first woman to ski across the Antarctic alone. Mostly because who is going to accept the invitation to go along?

A Britain became the first woman to ski across the Antarctic alone. It’s lonely and cold but at least there are no lift lines.

A Britain became the first woman to ski across the Antarctic alone. Mostly because it didn’t make sense to try to make it across on bicycle.

A report says Baby Boomers are working longer and putting off retirement because they feel better to be busy. Plus they know they will be supporting their kids who will be living in their basement for the next thirty years.

More states are cutting their budgets for higher education. Why spend money on colleges when kids can’t even make it half way through high school?

Hitachi is shutting down its last TV factory. To which most people under 30 are asking “What’s TV?”

The country's five biggest mortgage lenders have agreed to overhaul the industry. That after their actions pretty much overhauled the economy.

A study says that family involvement may help overweight kids change their eating habits. Mostly because it takes the whole rest of the family to hold them down to keep them away from the refrigerator.

More twins are being born in the U.S. than ever before. Which has caused the largest gain in Wrigley's Doublemint Gum stock in years.

The FDA is being asked to approve a marijuana mouth spray as a painkiller. Apparently it's hard to feel any pain when you are giggling uncontrollably.

The FDA is being asked to approve a marijuana mouth spray as a painkiller. Apparently it's just reconstituted bong water.

Magic mushrooms are being tested as a drug to treat depression. Apparently the best way to make people forget why they are depressed is to first make them forget who they even are.

Experts say that some people are actually allergic to the cold. Which apparently is why Bill Clinton started hitting on all those other women.

Kevin Federer was rushed to a hospital in Australia after complaining of chest pain. Apparently the tests turned out negative as did the public interest in his medical condition.

A judge says that Americans can be forced to decrypt their laptops for authorities. Good luck. Most Americans have trouble booting their laptops up without having to call IT.

Scientists say an explosive volcano could be under Death Valley. Which is nice because a volcanic eruption would actually cool down the Mojave Desert in the summer.

The goalie for the Boston Bruins skipped a White House meeting with the President as a political protest. The real reason is he was worried going through White House security looking like Jason from "Friday the 13th".

School buses in Florida may soon pick up revenue for schools by displaying on board ads. the only problem is that the kids riding the bus have no idea what the ads are saying.

That's it for now, Oh Faithful Readers! A sad note today. This would have been the 44th birthday of my wife, Karen who passed away from Cystic Fibrosis in April. Just wold like you all to share in sending the love along with me and our daughter Summer in wishing she could still be with us!