A report says that Tim Tebow played in the loss against New England with a rib, lung and chest injury. Apparently he suffered the injury while “Tebowing” before the game.
Indiana has unveiled a specialty license plate for gay youths. Or young people can just let everyone know they are gay by driving around in a Prius.
A report says the captain of the cruise ship that ran aground off the coast of Italy claims he fell overboard. Apparently he lost his balance and fell while trying to pull a little girl out of the lifeboat he was trying to climb into.
Former Miss USA Rima Fakih was in court being charged with DUI. Apparently that explains how she won the title of “Miss Congeniality”.
Newt Gingrich says he paid 31% of his income in taxes last year. The other 69% went to cover his Tiffany account.
The House took a symbolic vote against raising the National Debt. Which is like Lindsay Lohan swearing to the court she will stay away from alcohol and drugs.
A survey says that 65% of Americans eat lunch at their desk or not at all. The other 35% still prefer to take all their meals at the homeless shelter.
Tennis pro Marcos Baghdatis broke four rackets in a courtside meltdown at the Australian Open. To which John McEnroe said “Amateur!”
Miley Cyrus reportedly spent $50,000 to lose fifteen pounds. Apparently she joined a new group called Wallet Watchers.
Miley Cyrus reportedly spent $50,000 to lose fifteen pounds. The only fifteen pounds she lost was that much in $100 bills.
Some moviegoers are demanding their money back from the movie “The Artist” which is nearly silent all the way through. Unlike the people who were demanding their money back from Justin Bieber’s “Never Say Never” because it did come with sound.
Sinead O’Connor says she is seeking treatment for depression. She is suffering from a fading music career and a fourth marriage on the rocks. But mostly just because she is Irish.
A study says that people who move in synch tend to think alike. Which means that at least Britney Spears’ and Ashlee Simpson’s lips have a lot in common.
A study says that people who move in synch tend to think alike. In fact, it’s getting to the point where Madonna and Lady Gaga are finishing each other’s sentences.
Researchers in California are hoping to become the first to build an artificial testicle. This could finally be the breakthrough that finally gets Congress what it needs to get something done.
Wikipedia went black to protest the proposed SOPA and PIPA legislation against piracy. Ironically, people who were most upset were those trying to use Wikipedia to look up something about Blackbeard.
The Education Department is looking for ways to stem cheating on standardized testing. Of course, all the cheating is done by the teachers to keep the scores up to keep from being fired.
California Governor Jerry Brown is asking voters to “dream big” and vote to raise state taxes. When is the last time you heard of anyone’s big dream being to raise their own taxes?
The cost of the cruise ship wreck off the coast of Italy could surpass $130 Million. And that’s just what the ship would have made during the lost time in the onboard casino alone.
Four U.S. airport terminals have been ranked in the world’s ten worst: JFK, La Guardia, Newark and Chicago Midway. Mostly because once you get off the plane you are either in New York, Chicago or New Jersey.
A 139 page report faults drivers for the accidents caused by sudden acceleration by Toyotas. The report took two years to put together. Does the panel that worked on it have any idea what “sudden acceleration” even is?
A janitor job held by Newt Gingrich’s daughter when she was a teenager may have violated labor laws. Although she says it gave her valuable experience to do the job she now has with Nike.
A janitor job held by Newt Gingrich’s daughter when she was a teenager may have violated labor laws. Who is going to hire a teenager to be a janitor? Have you ever seen a teenager’s room?
A janitor job held by Newt Gingrich’s daughter when she was a teenager may have violated labor laws. What’s wrong with him? He was Speaker of the House and the only job he can use his influence to get his daughter some work is on the custodian crew?
The porn industry is threatening to leave Los Angeles if they enforce the mandatory condom law just passed. Although where else will the industry be able to relocate where there are so many available pool boys, hot nurses and pizza men?
The porn industry is threatening to leave Los Angeles if they enforce the mandatory condom law just passed. It was suggested they move to Washington, D.C. but porn executives say that town is way too sleazy for them.
A study says that genes account for 24% of the mental changes in the life cycle. The other 76% apparently comes from booze, video games and TV.
A study says a nose job can make a person not look only better, but younger. Apparently the study was done after Michael Jackson had already passed away.
A study says that the right kind of gossip may have health benefits. The wrong kind is being caught spreading rumors that all those body builders at your gym are gay.
A bank says it can’t find O.J. Simpson to serve him foreclosure papers. If someone would have told them he was in jail, it would have saved them driving around every golf course in the country.
A bank says it can’t find O.J. Simpson to serve him foreclosure papers. The real question is why isn’t someone serving him with his execution papers?
Ryan Seacrest is set to launch his own cable channel. Although he’s a little late. They already have Bravo.
A Harris Poll says that Mark Harmon has been chosen as the favorite TV star for the second straight year. How hard can it be when your main competition is “Jersey Shore”, “Keeping Up With the Kardashians” and all the “Real Housewives” shows?
The International Telecommunication Union is thinking of doing away with the Leap Second, adding a second every few years to adjust the world’s time. Mostly because it will just be a pain to try to fix anything before the world ends on December 21st anyway.
Researchers have found a math formula that may explain the behavior of serial killers. It probably has something to do with eight grade algebra, when everyone first gets the feeling of wanting to actually kill their teacher.
Wikipedia shut down to protest the SOPA and PIPA anti-piracy laws, which got people thinking what would happen if the Internet actually shut down. To which AOL subscribers say “Tell us about it!”
That’s it for now, Oh Faithful Readers! Another batch of award winning jokes. Well, they are award winners just as soon as you send the love!
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