A research laboratory in France has lost thousands of tubes of the deadly SARS virus. The only good news is that it really shouldn’t make too much of a difference since they left all the vials on a Carnival cruise ship.
A research laboratory in France has lost thousands of tubes of the deadly SARS virus. Experts say it could be the most dangerous exposure to a deadly outbreak outside of a public restroom in Paris.
Glow in the dark roads are making their debut in the Netherlands which could replace expensive street lights. The only question is without street lights, where are the hookers supposed to hang out?
Glow in the dark roads are making their debut in the Netherlands which could replace expensive street lights. Here in America that wouldn’t work. People need street lights to be able to see what they are texting while they are driving.
A report says a growing number of children are unable to do simple tasks such as using building blocks because of their addition to iPads. Mostly because who wants to stack building blocks when you have an iPad you can play with instead?
Japan’s population has fallen for the third straight year, with people 65 or older making up 25% of the total. You know the demographics are skewing old when the number one restaurant in the nation is Carrows.
Iran is considering banning vasectomies to boost the country’s birth rate and double the nation’s population. Which is good news for Iranian men who go in to get a vasectomy and see the basic tools for the procedure are a pair of tin snips and a butterfly bandage.
A report says the price of fruits and vegetables is rising. Finally some bad economic news that doesn’t effect any Americans.
Beef prices have jumped to their highest level in 27 years. There hasn’t been such a demand on heifers since Bill Clinton was in the White House.
A study says that trying to be perfect can run a person’s health. Finally some good news for the Los Angeles Lakers.
A study says that trying to be perfect can run a person’s health. To which Donald Trump says “So who has to try?”
A study says that men tend to become more unhappy when they reach age 70. Probably because they realize they are now 70.
A report says that the Taiwanese are clamping down on Chinese tourists who they say are rude and obnoxious. They should just consider themselves lucky that their country has never been considered a vacation haven by the French.
Coca-Cola sales have fallen in Great Britain by 10%, the first drop in 15 years. The plunge was unexpected. It’s not like anyone is concerned about what Coke might do to their teeth.
The U.S. government is looking to hire 6,000 “cyber warriors” by 2016. They are needed for online security, preventing leaks and to show the top brass how to beat their grandchildren at “Call of Duty.”
A report says that a shortage of farmers in the U.S. is making for a “dangerous situation.” The biggest problem is that one out of five people who claim to be farmers are pretty much tending to 100 acres of fake crops in Farmville.
An online site called Federal Tax Receipt shows the break down of where a person’s tax money is going. Apparently it is just a looping video of a toilet being flushed.
Ford plans an overhaul of its in-car infotainment system that allows drivers to navigate, listen to music and make calls. It was designed especially to entertain Ford owners while they have some spare time waiting for the tow truck to arrive.
Ford plans an overhaul of its in-car infotainment system that allows drivers to navigate, listen to music and make calls. Which is a great technological advancement for people who are too busy to distract themselves while driving.
A report says the odds of being audited by the IRS are less than 1% this year. Which is also pretty much the same percentage of people who had enough of an income to need to even file a return.
Oklahoma has banned local minimum wage hikes across the state. Which finally explains how they got the nickname of “The Panhandle State.”
Oklahoma has banned local minimum wage hikes across the state. Apparently state officials think it’s a lot easier when everyone across the entire state is at the same pay scale.
A new app called CUPS allows New Yorkers to get unlimited coffee from participating vendors for $45 a month. Or as coffee aficionados call $45, one large caramel mocha latte at any Starbucks.
A researcher says that within 50 years, people will be waring “Google hats” that will allow their thoughts to be decoded. Which will be unnecessary for men as it’s already been pretty much established at any given time they are thinking about sex.
A study says that nearly 10% of U.S. adults have diabetes. The other 90% just aren’t making it to McDonald’s enough times every month.
A UK campaign to cut salt intake dramatically decreased the amount of heart disease and strokes. The only problem is trying to get people to eat any British food without covering it with salt to mask the taste.
A congressional report is urging the FDA to regulate the e-cigarette market. Which is going to be difficult to do since the government already has refused to regulate the banks, the economy or the environment.
A congressional report is urging the FDA to regulate the e-cigarette market. Forget that, when is someone going to start regulating Congress?
A study says the brain peaks at age 24. Especially for anyone who by then has already played two years in the NFL.
A study says that marijuana reshapes the brains of users. Pot reportedly affects the pleasure and reward center, or “Cool!” and the area that assesses negative consequences, or “Bummer, man.”
Lady Gaga is being accused of wasting a pool full of water in drought stricken California by contaminating it during a video shoot. Apparently she made it unsafe for human consumption after deciding to take a swim in it herself.
Tracy Morgan says he is “concerned” about Alec Baldwin. Baldwin’s behavior is getting so bizarre and out of control that even Charlie Sheen is starting to tell him he needs to take it down a notch.
Lindsay Lohan’s mother was sentenced to 100 hours of community service after pleading guilty to DUI in New York. People are hoping that means keeping Lindsay locked up at home for four straight days.
A Canadian dentist who bought a tooth extracted from John Lennon says he wants to make a human clone from the DNA which he would raise as his own son. Although that would probably just last a few years before Yoko Ono would somehow break them up.
Sean Combs is set to give the commencement address at Howard University. Which will make all the graduates wonder if they made the right choice when they are lectured by a college dropout who has had more success than any of them could even dream about.
Billy Joel’s daughter Alexa Ray collapsed on stage during a cabaret performance. Apparently she figured it would be a lot safer to be taken out of there by an ambulance than to be driven home by her dad.
Miley Cyrus was hospitalized in Kansas City for an allergic reaction to antibiotics. Of course, she wouldn’t need to be on a steady prescription of antibiotics if she would just give that twerking a rest once in awhile.
The NCAA has approved unlimited meals and snacks for college athletes after a basketball player complained of “starving.” There is nothing worse for those kids than using the last of your under the table booster money on weed and not have anything left over for pizza.
Major League Baseball Commissioner Bud Selig calls the instant replay rollout “remarkable.” Apparently even he was stunned about how overnight the technological advancement has somehow made officiating as bad as it is in the NFL.
Major League Baseball Commissioner Bud Selig calls the instant replay rollout “remarkable.” Other than that it is being hailed as the most welcomed and successful rollout since Obamacare.
A suspect has been charged after leaving two unattended backpacks at the finish line of the Boston Marathon. He will probably plead insanity for thinking that everyone at the event would not notice.
A report says it would be “very unlikely” for the 49ers to pick up the option of troubled linebacker Aldon Smith. He is set to make $2.3 Million this year. $2.8 Million if you include forfeited bail money.
The Atlanta Braves have been receiving racist hate mail after comments made by Hank Aaron saying there is still racism in baseball. Which is amazing in the fact they are complaining of racial comments made by Aaron and sending them to a team called the “Braves.”
Astronomers say that Saturn may have given birth to a baby moon. It was much more tasteful than what astronomers had to view last month from Uranus. (Yes...old, tired, juvenile...but still funny!)
A study says that pollution from Asia may be strengthening storms in North America. If pollution makes for bigger storms, than why is Los Angeles in the middle of a record drought?
A space garden will allow astronauts to eat lettuce grown on the International Space Station. Apparently it just isn’t the same when you eat a salad that doesn’t crunch because it was instead squeezed fresh out of a tube.
Facebook as reached 100 Million users in India. Who can now become friends with all the people they are busy helping with customer service when they can’t get on Facebook because their computer is down.
Google says it is planning to fit an entire camera into a contact lens. The only problem is when the person taking the picture is the one that always messes up the shot by blinking.
San Francisco Bay Area apartment rents are up to a record high average of $2,043 a month. And that’s just for the security upgrades if you live in the same complex as Aldon Smith.
The cellular industry has agreed to install a kill switch in phones that will allow the owner to disable and wipe them clean if they are lost or stolen. Having your phone disabled and wiped clean is already a possibility. It’s called signing up with AT&T.
That’s it for now, Oh Faithful Readers! Alright here’s my new plan. I have recently hit the quarter million hits plateau, and would like to expand readership. Just tell two friends tomorrow about the blog, and have them tell two friends and then they can tell two friends. I figure by the end of the month at that pace, I will have reached my goal of 7 Billion hits a day. Either that, or you will have lost all your friends in the process. In the meantime, until I can figure out another way to generate more readership I will always be satisfied whenever you all remember to send the love!