Sunday, July 15, 2018

Greetings, Oh Faithful Readers! From the most prolific joke writer on the planet...!

“Jeopardy!” host Alex Trebek is being sued by a woman who claims his dog made her fall down in the road. She says “I’ll take personal injury lawyers for $500,000!”


Twelve Russians have been indicted for hacking the DNC and Hillary Clinton. To which Hillary says “We would have won if it weren’t for those meddling kids at the Kremlin!”


Washington, D.C. issued warnings for dirty water last week. It’s tough to keep the water clean when the whole city is pretty much one big swamp.


McDonald’s salads in the Midwest are being linked to an intestinal parasite. Although they are still healthier than eating a Super Sized Big Mac Value Meal.


Virgin and Blue Origin are planning to offer space travel flights next year for around $200,000. Although the total cost goes up to around $450,000 with the additional fees for meals, luggage and inflight Wi-Fi.


Missouri’s governor has signed a law banning marriage for 15 year olds. Although some people think it’s a good idea to have an electorate with a spouse and a couple of kids by the time they are 18 and can vote.


Missouri’s governor has signed a law banning marriage for 15 year olds. Although it is still legal in Alabama, as long as they have signed permission from the family member they are marrying.


Scarlett Johansson has pulled out of a movie role where she was set to play a transgender because of Internet backlash. She was originally given the role because producer liked the idea more of hitting on her for sex at the auditions than a bunch of transsexuals.


Thousands marched in Scotland to protest Donald Trump’s visit. Mostly because the World Cup is almost over and the Scottish soccer hooligans are looking for the next reason to brawl.


A Saudi Arabian woman was arrested for hugging a male singer at a concert. It’s so strict there that women aren’t even to throw their burqas at Tom Jones.


A Saudi Arabian woman was arrested for hugging a male singer at a concert. It’s so strict there that any woman closer to the stage than the 6th row is officially labeled a groupie.


The search is on for a paraglider who flew over the Scottish resort where Donald Trump was staying. He flew so close in the restricted airspace that the Scottish Air Force immediately scrambled all their falconers.


The search is on for a paraglider who flew over the Scottish resort where Donald Trump was staying. People weren’t sure if they were more surprised by someone flying in restricted airspace or that there is actually a place labeled both “Scottish” and “resort.”


A Ryanair flight from Ireland to Croatia lost cabin pressure with the crew having to deploy oxygen. Which upset passengers even more when they were charged $40 for the Ryanair fee for inflight O2.


Kevin Anderson is calling for a change in the Grand Slam deciding set format after his Wimbledon semifinal match went six and a half hours. It took so long they almost had to delay the start of next year’s tournament just to get through this one.


Kevin Anderson is calling for a change in the Grand Slam deciding set format after his Wimbledon semifinal match went six and a half hours. One suggestion is that both players finish the final set using badminton racquets and a birdie.


Two men claiming to be the sons of Charles Manson have joined in a fight over his estate. The sad part is the court refused to consider them his sons, instead using the term “spawns.”


Two men claiming to be the sons of Charles Manson have joined in a fight over his estate. There are two people who have no pressure on ending up doing better than their dad.


Two men claiming to be the sons of Charles Manson have joined in a fight over his estate. How much are you in need of some cash to admit to everyone your dad is Charles Manson?


Arizona floods forced some tourists to evacuate. The desert flood waters got so deep they actually rose over the tops of a couple of street curbs.


A team is being sent by Donald Trump to meet with Mexico’s incoming president to try to repair relations. How bad is it that Trump is already at odds with a country’s leader before they even take office?


Police officers in Georgia are being accused of using a coin toss to decide whether to arrest a suspect. Which is still better than the person they shot after doing rock-paper-scissors.


Police officers in Georgia are being accused of using a coin toss to decide whether to arrest a suspect. As opposed to the old days in Georgia when a ride in a Black & White was determined on whether you were black or white.


Digital currency platform Coinbase is exploring adding five new cryptocurrencies. Apparently it’s for people who want to try to lose all their money even faster than they did with Bitcoin.


French President Macron has given the country’s military budget a boost. The word is they will now be able to afford to equip their troops with twice as many white flags.


New York health officials are recommending pot legalization in a report to the governor. It was pretty obvious what their decision was when it came in written on a pile of Zig-Zag papers.


New York health officials are recommending pot legalization in a report to the governor. It was obvious what their decision was going to be since it was originally commissioned back in 1972.


Shared workplace company WeWork says it will no longer expense meals that contain meat. Which is good news for employees who still like to take their lunch break at Taco Bell.


The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration is urging automakers to speed up replacement of faulty Takata airbags. And who knows better about annoying airbags more than a government agency?


United has joined other airlines in pitching its credit card to customers. It comes in handy when passengers max out all their other cards paying for luggage, snacks and inflight Wi-Fi fees.


United has joined other airlines in pitching its credit card to customers. Apparently flight attendants are getting pretty aggressive with their tactics, telling fliers the last person who didn’t sign up was the guy they dragged off the plane.


Johnson & Johnson has been ordered to pay $4.7 Billion in a case over baby powder. It was so bad, after the award was announced all the company executives needed a diaper change.


The FDA has approved the first drug treatment for smallpox. Not to say the agency moves slowly, but the patent was originally filed when there were actually still smallpox back in 1785.


The FDA has approved the first drug treatment for smallpox. Now that they are done with that, they can look at treatment for other maladies such as dropsy, consumption and leprosy.


A study says only 17% of U.S. kids are tested to see if they are learning basic skills. Mostly because anymore, a child who can work an iPad and iPhone is pretty much set to make it all the way through school.


A report says 1 in 9 U.S. adults over 45 say they have memory issues. Mostly in forgetting how old they really are when filling out a job application anymore.


A report says 1 in 9 U.S. adults over 45 say they have memory issues. The other 8 are saying “What was the question?”


A study says young women are more likely to become depressed when pregnant than in the past. Although they have no idea the real depression starts when their kid becomes a teenager.


A study says the human brain is as unique as a fingerprint with no two alike. Except in the Kardashian family where everyone’s brain activity test comes back with the exact same flatline.


A study says heart disease in dogs may be tied to certain foods, especially those containing potatoes. Which is bad news as for some reason that is the favorite type mainly for Irish setters.


A study says heart disease in dogs may be tied to certain foods. Especially now that  McDonald’s has gotten into the business with their new Big Mac Kibbles & Bits.


The CDC issues a warning about Kellogg’s Honey Smacks over a salmonella outbreak saying “Do not eat this cereal.” The sad part is once the contamination is over, after looking at the ingredients the CDC may still be warning “Do not eat this cereal.”


The CDC issues a warning about Kellogg’s Honey Smacks over a salmonella outbreak saying “Do not eat this cereal.” It turns out the cereal’s mascot got his nickname “Dig ‘Em” from all the graves he had to prepare.


Harvey Weinstein says he was misquoted over offering movie roles to women for sex. Apparently he just made them think they would get the roles if they had sex with him.


A “Downton Abbey” film is reportedly in the works. It’s the one where moviegoers will leave the theater after 12 hours still wondering who the characters are and what actually happened.


A “Downton Abbey” film is reportedly in the works. People are warned it will be made in England where they consider it entertainment to watch a four hour soccer match ending in a 0-0 tie.


Niecy Nash was given a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Apparently they are giving out stars now to anyone who actually strolls all the way down the entire distance of the Walk.


Lady Gaga is reportedly starting her own cosmetics company. Her first products will be for people who wear her line of meat dresses and need charcoal briquette mascara, barbecue sauce blush and Worcestershire bronzer.


Magic Johnson says LeBron James will have a say on personnel moves with the Lakers. A player making front office decisions? Who does he think he is, Magic Johnson?


Magic Johnson revealed details of the meeting which sealed LeBron James becoming a Laker. Apparently it was that moment when he mentioned something about 4 years for $154 Million.


Jaylen Brown says about the NBA’s One and Done Rule, if a person can serve in the military at 18 they should be able to play in the NBA. Especially if it involves getting combat experience for anyone having to make it to the arena for a game in Detroit.


Some fans took offense at the Montgomery Biscuits minor league baseball promotion for Millennial Night. Which is no big deal as most people under 30 are asking “What’s baseball?”


LeBron James’ agent says his move to L.A. was a “basketball decision” based on “what made him happy.” Which turns out is pretty much living anywhere besides Cleveland.


John Isner was praised for signing autographs after losing a six and a half hour long semifinal match at Wimbledon. Although it turns out he didn’t realize he was signing souvenirs, he thought he was approving an extension because the match caused him to overstay his visa.


Senator Joe Manchin told Senator Chuck Schumer to “kiss my you know what” over the vote on Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh. Which is refreshing to hear a politician say those words to another politician for once instead of their constituents.


The cleanup of Mike Pence’s family’s gas stations will reportedly cost taxpayers millions of dollars. At least now Donald Trump has someone on staff who is qualified to take over for Scott Pruitt.


A new LG smartphone will come with five cameras. Mostly so they can claim to be the only one that can get the entire backside of Kim Kardashian in one photo.


That’s it for now, Oh Faithful Readers! Just a quick warning to those of you who check this out every day. I will be heading out of town for a couple of days so I may have just a few jokes and possibly not any on Wednesday and Thursday. Try not to cheer too loudly over that. I will do my best but no guarantees. It is a very rare occurrence when I can’t get at least a few jokes out for your comedy fix. Which many of you are saying “Jokes?” So while I am gone, please don’t use that as an excuse to avoid remembering to always keep on sending the love!

Friday, July 13, 2018

Greetings, Oh Faithful Readers! From the most prolific joke writer on the planet...!

The International Energy Agency says the world’s oil supply risks being stretched to the limit. Which is OK since we were about due for a new Middle East war one of these days anyway.

The International Energy Agency says the world’s oil supply risks being stretched to the limit. Which means Donald Trump can scratch off those plans for “Middle East peace” and start working on something else.

Delta says it will trim flights on some underperforming routes because of rising fuel prices. “Underperforming” meaning any flights that have more than one empty seat on board.

The CDC says half of Americans are trying to lose weight. The other half pretty much gave up back in 1987.

Sarah Sanders says John Kelly was not annoyed by Donald Trump’s remarks at a NATO breakfast but was upset he couldn’t get a full breakfast. That, and his shoes were too tight, the A/C was not on, and there was no chocolate left on his pillow the night before.

Sarah Sanders says John Kelly was not annoyed by Donald Trump’s remarks at a NATO breakfast but was upset he couldn’t get a full breakfast. Apparently “NATO” stands for “Nothing After Ten O’Clock.”

Sarah Sanders says John Kelly was not annoyed by Donald Trump’s remarks at a NATO breakfast but was upset he couldn’t get a full breakfast. Who knew that world peace comes down to how late they keep the buffet line open.

Papa John founder John Schnatter has resigned as chairman after using a racial slur. People inside the company say he had a lot of crust.

New Zealand scientists have produced the first ever color X-Ray used on a human. Which is not all that useful as everything inside us turns out pretty much red.

A report says Russia is pursuing Jehovah’s Witnesses as extremists. They should have known not to ring Vladimir Putin’s doorbell at 7:00 on a Saturday morning.

A report says Russia is pursuing Jehovah’s Witnesses as extremists. Which is not good news for practitioners as the KGB has a history of not leaving behind too many witnesses.

Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh took time out from meetings on Capitol Hill to serve meals to the homeless. To which he told them all, “With me on board, each of these could be your last!”

A poll says a plurality of Germans want U.S. troops out of their country. To which everyone in Europe who was around in World War II is saying “How do you like it?”

A judge is weighing the competency of a man accused of mailing explosives. Although how competent is anyone who has something that needs to be delivered on a deadline and still uses the Post Office?

Students and alumni from Brett Kavanaugh’s alma mater Yale Law School say if he is place on the Supreme Court, “People will die.” Which at Yale they usually only say about Harvard grads.

Students and alumni from Brett Kavanaugh’s alma mater Yale Law School say if he is place on the Supreme Court, “People will die.” Which is scary as they didn’t even get that worked up about George W. Bush.

Donald Trump says there “may be an escalation” between the U.S. and Iran. Especially the minute he thinks starting a war would increase his popularity numbers.

Some England fans were so confident of a World Cup win they got premature celebration tattoos. Which will come as a real surprise to them when they sober up in another two weeks.

An Icelandic fishing magnate defended his company killing a blue whale, saying it was actually a hybrid. How bad is it when you can’t tell the difference between a cetacean and a Prius?

Build-A-Bear Workshop’s “Pay your age” promotion was canceled because of huge crowds. Which means there is not much of a chance of a follow-up offer by Nike for a “pay the age of the kid who made your shoe” sale.

South Dakota was named as the best state to retire. That is for the ten people in South Dakota who actually were able to find a job that paid them well enough to be able to retire before 93.

South Dakota was named as the best state to retire. That is for people who don’t mind planning out the day with the same suggestion of “How about going to see Mount Rushmore again?”

South Dakota was named as the best state to retire. Which is good for most people as long as they find somewhere else to live during the snowy time of year meaning every month but July.

A report says Americans are making progress paying back their debts. The sad part is they are finally just about done paying off the 30 year home loan that was foreclosed back in 2007.

A report says Americans are making progress paying back their debts. Meaning they are on track to finally finish paying off their college loans on schedule, sometime in 2067.

A report says U.S. consumer price increases are eating away at worker wage gains. Which means all those minimum wage raises are turning out to be for nothing.

A study says high blood pressure may contribute to the development of Alzheimer’s Disease. The good news is the dementia at least makes people forget what caused the stress that raised their blood pressure.

A study says people who feel younger also have the structural characteristics of a younger brain. Which you can tell are the ones at work who at break time like to finger paint, then have milk and cookies and a nap.

A study says rock music can have a harmful effect on environmental systems. To which researchers commenting on the study said “What?”

A study says rock music can have a harmful effect on environmental systems. No one had any idea that Scott Pruitt was secretly a huge metal head.

Keanu Reeves says a “Bill & Ted” sequel is “getting close.” In fact, it could be released to video any day now.

“Real Housewives” star Luann de Lesseps is reportedly dating her married agent. The question being are any of those housewives actually housewives?

Selena Gomez says she doesn’t believe in love at first sight. Especially after dating Justin Bieber all those years where every day was try, try again.

Lamar Odom is moving to China to work with an entertainment company. Apparently there just isn’t enough room on this side of the world for him and any of the Kardashians.

A second movie is already underway about the trapped Thai soccer team. Although this one has the boys trapped in a cave where they are rescued by the castaways from “Gilligan’s Island.”

Dwayne Johnson says he “needs experience” before running for President. Although that never seemed to get in the way of Donald Trump.

Dwayne Johnson says he “needs experience” before running for President. Which he has gotten with intelligence working in “Get Smart,” foreign aid in “Tooth Fairy” and in how to deal with extreme deficit spending making “Baywatch.”

A report says Kylie Jenner is on track to become the youngest self-made billionaire ever. Which is amazing she has even more money than half-sister Kim Kardashian who wrote the book on becoming famous and making a fortune with no discernible skills.

Former NBA player Charles Oakley was arrested for cheating at a Las Vegas casino. Apparently he was caught trying to take back a $100 chip from a losing hand. He would have better luck betting on the Knicks inviting him to be their guest at Madison Square Garden.

A proposed college football national injury report is reportedly facing roadblocks. Although it would take a lot less time to compile than a list of college football player missed classes.

The Scottish Open is using math problems to identify the number of each hole on its flag. The last one is “18>⅕.” Meaning playing 18 is always greater when followed with a fifth.

LeBron James is in talks to star in a comedy film with Paramount. Apparently the idea is to make it a sequel to “The Decision.”

Phil Mickelson says he will try to act better on the golf course. The question being why is that statement having to be made by a 48 year old who has won five majors?

Paul Manafort has been moved from the jail where he says he was treated like a “VIP.” The lesson here being when you are treated like a VIP in jail, it’s best to just keep your mouth shut.

White House aide Marc Short will be leaving the Trump Administration. Apparently he wanted to be the first to leave for a reason other than being fired or indicted.

Apple is ending its photo printing service. Mostly because it was too hard to explain to anyone under 30 how photographs can be seen in places other than on a cellphone.

The FCC is dropping plans to charge $225 to hear consumer complaints, with one commissioner saying “No one should be asked to pay $225 for this agency to do its job.” The question is how much will it cost to have the agency stop doing its job?

Facebook’s fifth annual diversity report shows a slow improvement in the company. Although some are questioning Mark Zuckerberg trying to count the fact he married an Asian woman.

A survey says half of young people want an electric car. Mostly because it’s easier to steal fuel from your neighbor with an extension cord than by siphoning their gas tank.

Protests have erupted in Uganda over the proposed five cent a day social media tax, with police using tear gas and bullets to control crowds. People were surprised. A social media tax is the issue that gets Ugandans out in the street to protest?

Ireland is set to become the first country to end investments in fossil fuels. Mostly because they feel more comfortable in putting their money into what they know, which is corn, rye, barley and copper tubing.

Ireland is set to become the first country to end investments in fossil fuels. Not because of the environment, but because they know they can’t go wrong putting their money into shamrocks, Guinness and Irish whiskey.

Bulletproof clothing designers say demand in the U.S. is on the rise. Especially for women who go around always flashing a pair of 38s.

Bulletproof clothing designers say demand in the U.S. is on the rise. The problem is for men whose wives ask “Does this dress make my butt look more like a .22 or a .45?

The DOJ will appeal the merger between AT&T and Time Warner after a judge rejected the government’s argument it would raise rates for consumers and stifle industry competition. To which most businesses are saying “Isn’t that the whole point of a merger?”

That’s it for now, Oh Faithful Readers! Today is Friday the 13th. I’m not superstitious, I feel most things go wrong for a reason. Like the way we keep sending the same people back to Washington every couple of years. That is not something that is beyond our control but it keeps on happening. One thing good about Friday the 13th is the next two days are still Saturday and Sunday and there is nothing unlucky about that. I hope you all have a great weekend. I never have any complaints, especially when you all remember to always keep on sending the love!

Thursday, July 12, 2018

Greetings, Oh Faithful Readers! From the most prolific joke writer on the planet...!

A report says a French entrepreneur has created a train that can also fly. Don’t we already have that? It’s called “Amtrak.”


New road signs can reportedly detect when cellphones are being used in vehicles. Which is right around the time the vehicle crashes into the road sign.


A new “witness protection” program is being offered for whistleblowers in the tech industry. The first thing is to disguise them beyond recognition by taking away their docker pants, Polo shirts and cutting off their man-buns.


The German Army reportedly had soldiers using broomsticks for guns during training exercises because of low funding. Although the last thing anyone wants is a well-armed German military.


The German Army reportedly had soldiers using broomsticks for guns during training exercises because of low funding. It’s for soldiers who want to get into battle to make a clean sweep.


Honda has built a lawnmower that can go 150 mph. Apparently it’s for men who want to get all the yard work done during football season in the 30 seconds between plays.


Honda has built a lawnmower that can go 150 mph. Now if they could just get the Honda Fit to be able to go faster than 47 mph.


Hollywood producers are already working on making a film about the trapped Thai soccer team. Mostly because the movie could be three hours long showing the kids sitting around waiting to be rescued and still be more exciting than watching a World Cup 0-0 tie game.


A report says consumers are being flooded with dubious claims about the health benefits of pot. Which the amount they believe is usually based on just how stoned they are.


Paul Manafort is reportedly being treated like a prison “VIP” with his own shower, bathroom and phone. Meaning it is still better than if they had him holed up in a Super 8 Motel.


Paul Manafort is reportedly being treated like a prison “VIP” with his own shower, bathroom and phone. Which upset O.J. Simpson, who when he was in prison was tired of saying “Who do you have to kill to get some treatment around here?”


Uganda is going to review its proposed 5 cent a day tax to use social media. Mostly after President Yoweri Museveni was suddenly unfriended by 40 Million users.


Migrants are describing hunger and solitary confinement in a for-profit confinement center in Washington State. Mostly because prison managers know nothing cuts into the profit margin like actually providing people food and activities.


An Ohio man was killed after driving his riding lawn mower off a 50 foot cliff. Apparently he didn’t realize it was one of those Honda models that go 150 mph. (See above)


An Ohio man was killed after driving his riding lawn mower off a 50 foot cliff. His last words were “Are you sure Evel Knievel got his start this way?”


An Ohio man was killed after driving his riding lawn mower off a 50 foot cliff. Some people will do anything to get out of also having to do the edging.


Haitian rioting has caused American missionaries to fear for their lives. Even more so than usual.


The job market is reportedly so hot that people are “ghosting” potential employers, meaning disappearing without explanation. Apparently those are the employees who mix up using Monster.com with their Tinder app.


Eight Alabama death row inmates have asked to be executed using nitrogen gas. Three others beat the system and escaped the death penalty by asking to be executed using O2 gas.


Eight Alabama death row inmates have asked to be executed using nitrogen gas. Several other have asked to be executed using helium so they can die laughing.


A court has ruled TSA screeners are immune from claims by fliers of abuse. Mostly because if claims were allowed, the courtrooms would be more packed than the airport security lines.


A court has ruled TSA screeners are immune from claims by fliers of abuse. Especially for people flying United who pretty much use the abuse from the TSA agents as a warm up to how they are treated by the airline workers.


A drug company is suing to stop a Nevada execution by lethal injection because of legal and ethical concerns. Apparently the drug companies actually have a conscience that draws the line at just price gouging all their customers.


Donald Trump slammed German Chancellor Angela Merkel, saying Germany is “totally controlled” and “captive” to Russia. Which upset Trump because he thought of it first.


Ten volunteer firefighters were arrested in North Carolina for starting fires. As volunteers, apparently they just liked the idea of creating some busy work for themselves.


Driverless car makers want Congress to free them from state safety standards. Making cars with no one behind the wheel and no quality and performance controls. Now what could possibly go wrong with that idea?


A poll says a plurality of Democrats want to abolish ICE. Which is interesting as it is the only government agency that Donald Trump is not trying to completely dismantle.


Donald Trump is considering tariffs on Chinese oxygen. Although after looking at their air quality reports and the number of smog alerts issued there, the question is does China even have any oxygen?


The average gasoline price in the U.S. is nearing $3 a gallon. Apparently the big oil companies are tired of waiting for a war as the reason to justify gouging all their customers.


A report says smarter devices and faster smartphones will follow the FCC 5G spectrum auction. And you thought your kids ignored your attempts to communicate with them now.


A study says medicinal pot decreases the number of opioid prescriptions. Mostly because the pot users are just too lazy to get off the couch and go to the pharmacy.


Uber’s chief HR officer has stepped down. How bad are things at Uber if that person managed to make it through the entire time former CEO Travis Kalanick was still there?


Uber’s chief HR officer has stepped down. People were surprised at the news. Uber actually has an HR department?


Dunkin’ Donuts and Baskin-Robbins have named a new CEO, a veteran McDonald’s executive. Which means that will be one company that is not going to be focusing on a healthy menu.


Scientists have identified a protein linked to armpit odor. Apparently it is the one protein that is found in the recipes for every single type of food made in France.


Sarah Palin says she was duped by comedian Sasha Baron Cohen. That’s a real turnaround, considering she is the one who duped the state of Alaska and the entire Republican Party.


Tyler Perry is warning fans not to fall for a Facebook scam using his name. Although it’s too late for the people who already fell for the scams with his name like “Medea’s Family Reunion,” “Medea Goes To Jail” and “A Medea Christmas.”


Innovative cinematographer Robbie Muller has died at age 78. His family says he died peacefully, just fading to black.


The Cleveland Indians lost a game to the Cincinnati Reds after sending in the wrong relief pitcher. It was so wrong, it turns out they used a reliever from the Kansas City Royals bullpen.


Randy Moss is mentoring Jameis Winston, saying the quarterback must learn from his mistakes. Although having Randy Moss mentoring someone with behavioral issues is kind of like putting Rob Gronkowski in charge of Johnny Manziel.


Montana State’s quarterback is sitting out the 2018 season to focus on academics. To which all other student-athletes in the country are saying “Aca-what?”


Montana State’s quarterback is sitting out the 2018 season to focus on academics. Which is no big deal as the team probably has just as much chance of winning without having a quarterback.


The NBA is moving to eliminate the “One and Done” requirement, with 18 year olds eligible to go into the NBA. That means in some cities, teams will be drafting right out of the 4th grade.


Former NBA players are bringing 3 on 3 basketball games to Detroit. Which is different than the 1 on 5 games that were being played before Kobe Bryant retired.


The PGA Championship will be moved from August to May. If for no other reason, to not have it between Memorial Day and Labor Day to prevent any players from wearing those hideous white pants.


The DHS says Russia is not hacking our elections yet. Maybe they might be waiting for when the elections actually take place in November?


The DHS says Russia is not hacking our elections yet. Mostly because they know if they leave us alone long enough, we will wreak more havoc by ourselves than they ever could.


New Jersey has set aside $2.1 Million to help immigrants facing deportation. Although the ones there are turning down the cash saying they would rather be shipped back than spend another day in New Jersey.


A former Bill Clinton adviser is reportedly pleading with Hillary Clinton not to run for President in 2020 for her “family’s sake.” To which the Democrats are saying “and our sake, too.”


Macy’s is warning customers of an online data breach. It may have affected as many as all three Macy’s customers who actually know how to use a computer.


Scientists say they have found the world’s oldest color, bright pink which dates back 1.1 Billion years. And wouldn’t you know the announcement comes right when Fashion Week declares it to be the hot color trend for the autumn runway season.


A UK company offering pregnant women and new parents health advice has been fined for selling their data to the Labour Party. The question being who else would you sell information about pregnant women to other than a party that is all about labor?


Bitcoin has dropped 66% in value since December. Not to say it is in trouble, but its latest evaluation puts it somewhere between the Mexican Peso and the Chuck E. Cheese token.


That’s it for now, Oh Faithful Readers! I appreciate all of you logging in to check out the blog. Feel free to tell family and friends about it. It’s a nice way to get them back, especially the family members who ruin every holiday meal and activity. A few days of them reading these jokes and you will have your revenge. And, you’re welcome. Of course, you can always pay me back in the usual way by remembering to always keep on sending the love!